Cynthia Procter

Everyday I wake up thinking what my life is going to be like 10 years from now. Everyday I wake up thinking what is going to happen if I don't get a scholarship and can't go to college because my family will never have enough money. Everyday I wake up thinking what people actually think they know about me. For instance, Squeaky thinks that I pretend to not know that I am better than anyone. When really I try to be nice and say encouraging things. You know most of us have to work at being good at something, it just doesn't come naturally and we don't brag about it. Squeaky doesn't know how many hours each day I study or practice piano thinking about the consequences of what could happen when I don't.

Lunch Time

My stomach growls in hunger and anticipation, wishing and wanting to be feed. Waiting for a moment of weakness to come and lure me into temptation. Hoping to catch me off guard so the whinging of my stomach will stop. As it tells me what a bad mistake it was to not eat breakfast this morning. I fight back not letting it boss me around. Saying how much of an annoyance it was to me. It laughs at my weakness, knowing that I will have to endure the hunger through noon. I think, But noon is such a long time away. Giving into that temptation, it screams in happiness. Laughing knowing that it will win every time.

2081

The year was 2081. A world like no other you could imagine, the sky colored a light gray and giant creators were left just about everywhere you walked. There were only a few left that I knew of, maybe 10 or so others, just like me who survived the attack on our planet. My family every last one of my relatives, dead. So were many others, but I just could not comprehend the magnitude of the situation. "They" came, with the intentions to kill every single one of us. But they did not succeed at that; Brianna,Alyssa and I are left. We know that our fight will never be over until every last is one of them is dead, as long as they don't kill us first. I am number seven, with number nine and number three. I will promise that we will seek revenge. This is our story...

Adrenaline Rush

A warm breeze gusted but still did not cool the hot summer weather outside. My mom and I were in Chicago, it was my first time at Six Flags Great America. The cars lined the parking lot, every one waiting for their adrenaline rush. I started in awe as the gigantic metal beasts lured me to come and try not to scream. Our first coaster of the day, Raging Bull.

"Don't you want to go into the front row?"
"Umm, Mom, I think you are crazy. I am not going in front we are going to die."

My legs trembled in fear and I was anxious for the ride, above the staircase the whooshing sound of a charging coaster flew by, followed be screams and joyful laughing. It was going so fast it pulled the hair off my face and we weren't even on the roller coaster yet.

"You go ahead, and go in first."
"No way, Mom. If any one is falling off the first ride it's you and not me!"

I was frightened, I love roller coasters but the first feelings of nervousness never get better. The clicking brought me back to real life, this is going to be awesome. Then came the drop…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Someone out there

Blistering snow fell in heavy flakes, as it poured down in drifts from the edges of buildings and towers. Sounds picturesque until you come face first into the splattering slush; while the horrid screeching of over-used brakes can be heard during rush hour. Even after falling in the frozen tundra while walking the five miles home it was more cheerful than I it could be at home.

A familiar smiling face was turned away from me but I could see though the glass reflection in the window. As that face smiled and laughed at the television still listening to my ranting over useless topics; but it would be that very moment that caught the sobbing and tearful eyes of myself. First, the feelings in the room had changed it went from the over joyful family to the dreaded silence in a hospital waiting room. Only that analogy is too close to what truly happens. I asked the dumbest question that day, 'Are you alright?' Why couldn't I have snuck in the words 'I love you, Mom.' Or 'It’s going to be okay.' But instead I ruined my life by that one sentence. It was her body hitting the floor like a sack of potatoes, in that final moment I knew something had gone terribly wrong. I let my mind take over. While calling 911 I was sobbing, telling them that I need an ambulance as well as the paramedics; telling them the situation as well as our address.

Tears filled my eyes, I feel into the sidewalk wishing that some how that day my mother had never died. Some how that day the paramedics were capable of saving her life. Some how that day was never reality. That I would never have to go through life second guessing relationships because I am fearful for their lives. That I would never been through what any person should ever go through. That I would never have to live with my father. That I would never think over my whole life that has been lead by abuse and lies. Wishing that someone out there will save me from my life. Hoping that someone could pull me back to happiness. But there's no chance for that.

Untitled

Sometimes I try to run and hide
Or not to cry because sorrow will do you no good
Not happy or perfect like those other girls are
I try to mask what's really inside
Feelings that I care for others not to know
Things hidden through laughter and smiles
Turn to untamed weakness
We all know that the truth hurts
But my truth leave internal scars
Everything leaves it's mark
Embedded in my brain
Letting me know
What I'm not
Who I'm not
What I can't do
And who I can't be

Despair

You never know how hard it is
Until life gets hard
Just when you think something good is actually going to happen
Life takes it away
Unkind and unfair
It has ruined your life before
And now once again
Despair and sickness hidden inside
Under your shell
This is how it really feels
Frightened to love and protect
Because everyone goes
Not caring to know
How you feel